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| Slop is good food |
One time I was on a mission to the Dominican Republic. My companion and I went to visit a recent convert and her mother was in the "kitchen" making blood sausage. This is how it is made. Take a pig's poop chute and everything attached to it and put it in an enormous bowl on the floor. Add some water of questionable potability. Slosh the intestines around in the water for a while in a vain attempt to remove things that are disgusting. Now take the open end of the intestines and place the opening around your mouth. If this is starting to sound revolting to you, just relax, breathe deeply and keep in mind that the end product will be blood sausage. That should keep you going. Now that you have the opening of a pigs intestine wrapped around your lips, inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth into the intestine in order to inflate it like a balloon. Continue this process for a while. Soon you will have inflated intestines leading from your mouth, to the large bowl on the floor which still has approximately 43 miles of intestines to fill with air (depending on your height). Now, take the blood which came from the pig as it was being slaughtered and which any sane individual would recognize as being worth collecting. Pour this blood into the open end of the intestine which you have now peeled away from your mouth. It will go into the air-filled intestine where it will soon clot. Yes, clot. Tie off the ends of the intestine. Once clotted, you can put your soon to be delicious blood sausage in hot water and boil it. Please, now enjoy your homemade treat. You were following along, right?
I thought it would make a fantastic photograph with me pretending to blow air into a pig intestine, so, with the permission of the woman making the treat, I took the intestine in my hands and brought it near (not touching) my face. (Okay, I accidentally did get a tiny bit on my face.) My companion took the photo and I handed the previously manure filled flesh sack back to its owner. It stunk. It really stunk. Have you been around pigs? If not you have no understanding of the degree to which it stunk. And now it was on my hands. I went to a water source with some soap and I washed my hands. They still stunk. I ended up washing my hands about 8 times. But that stink would not leave my hands for 4 days.
Your hands stunk like pig poopers for ages? What's wrong with that? I can't see one thing wrong with that at all.
ReplyDeleteOh. My. Heck. I GHB'd all the way through that. HA!
ReplyDeleteIs clotted blood in a poop chute a tasty treat, though?? Not sure! I think some brain addicts were involved in creating that recipe.
They love that in Argentina, and they make it with cow and sheep intestines, too. After saying "no thanks" to this dish 200 times, I finally relented and had some. It was pretty good, assuming your definition of "good" is "the complete opposite of good". It was like eating a huge scab. I was told I was an arrogant priss if I didnt eat like the locals, so I got so I could tolerate it if I opened it up and spread it on my roll, like blood mayonnaise.
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