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| If you are easily upset by the sight of blood then do not look at any blood while reading this blog entry. Caution: The previous statement. You have been warned. |
One day Paul invited me to go see the film
The Count of Monte Cristo at the dollar theater. He even offered to pay. Thanks Paul. The End. Except that it isn't. If that were the end then this story would be not dumb and I assure you that this story IS NOT DUMB. This story occurred on a Friday night. Friday nights at the dollar movie theater are circumnavigational in that you have to drive around the parking lot numerous times (if you are a dork-o-matic lazy good for nothing crybaby) in order to find a good parking spot (instead of just parking further away and walking - lamquen! exercise!). Apparently Paul is a dork-o-matic lazy good for nothing crybaby because rather than parking further away he decided to park his car in the parking lot of the rock climbing establishment next door taking special care to disregard the numerous (many) and threatening signs posted at 4 foot intervals stating that cars parked here by movie-going patrons would be towed. I pointed out that he stood a good chance of getting towed if he left his car there, for the signs had not gone unnoticed by myself. He assured me that he had seen the signs and was aware of the risk but felt that it was minor. I tried (honestly, Mandi, I TRIED) to convince him that this was a bad idea and that I certainly didn't mind walking 200 extra yards in order to park in the safety of the somewhere else. Paul would have none of it and proceeded to the ticket booth. This was the opening night of
Count of Monte Cristo at the dollar theater and it being a college town, it was not surprising to note that the show had sold out. It was surprising however to hear Paul ask the ticket attendant for two tickets to
A Walk to Remember, a heartwarming film starring the appropriately named Mandy Moore which had the only benefit of not being sold out. I thought Paul had lost his mind. I was certainly not interested in spending a lovely evening cuddling with the present company and crying into each other's shoulders. When I asked Paul what the devil was going on he told me to shut it off and walked purposefully toward the ticket taker who told us our film was being shown in theater 3. Paul walked directly and in the opposite direction toward theater 5 where
The Count of Monte Cristo was showing and where another theater employee was stationed to check tickets and ensure that no one snuck into the show. Paul gladly showed him his ticket as he walked past him quickly into the theater and as I passed the sentryman I mumbled "I'm with him." Phew! We watched and enjoyed the movie from this point onward until it ended.
Afterward, we walked back to the car to discover that it had been booted. I looked at Paul's face and laughed and laughed until he finally admitted he was so not cool. The tow company employee who had placed the boot on the car approached us. Apparently he had been waiting in his car for us to show up. He explained that he would remove the boot after being paid a certain sum of money which neither Paul nor I had. Paul decided to call Mandi to have her come pick us up, but we didn't even have enough money for change for the pay phone, so Paul wandered around the still populated theater asking people for change. When he had accumulated enough money to place the call Mandi gratefully answered. She agreed to help, but either Paul didn't tell her to bring the checkbook or she didn't know where the checkbook was because we had to go back to Paul's house, get the checkbook and then come back to pay off the hatchet man. Mandi was unhappy about having to drive back to the theater again so I offered to drive back in my car so she could go back to bed (Yes, that's another thing. Mandi had been asleep in bed). As we drove back I tried to convince Paul that he should offer the fella a bribe, tell him he'd write a $40 check to hatchet man himself. Paul thought it would be funny but figured that it would be a bad idea since it is illegal to bribe people. oh. I kept encouraging him and explaining that bribery is not illegal until finally he agreed to give it a try. Paul tried (not very earnestly, in my opinion) to bribe tow-truck Sally, but failed. Thanks for the movie, Paul. Let's do it again soon.
