Nerds Cereal

This is Paul. Honest.

Paul always had good food at his house, at least compared to mine. So when he came over with a box of Nerds breakfast cereal (yes, breakfast cereal based on the candy called "Nerds") he quickly became enamored of me begging some off him. When his love reached its peak he handed me a handful of some tiny berries from a bush we had passed. They resembled the breakfast cereal remarkably in the dim light of evening and I popped them into my mouth. Chewing them was pleasure and I thanked him profusely.

Paul later came up with several unique methods to not share whatever he was eating, including eating things that fell well short of "appetizing". For lunch he would eat Peanut Butter and marshmallow sandwiches with blackberry syrup. He would always drink warm soda and be certain to backwash the entire first mouthful. Our buddy Matt Campbell one time tried to prove Paul's efforts futile by eating a scrap of food out of Paul's very craw after it had already been chewed and grossness. This served to make everyone present retch. Go ahead and keep that margarine and eggnog sandwich Paul. I'll be over here scrounging change for a chocolate cookie.