Paging Dr. Rosenheight

EEE!

Tape recorders were a mainstay in my juventud. That means youth. Paul and I would record several things a day including a story entitled The Follow Along Storybook of Great Worth featuring a likable fellow by the name of Montgomery Q. That's a story for another time, though, cause the story I want to relate at this juncture is about a time when my family was visiting my grandmother in Cheyenne, Wyoming. Gordon and I were splendid brothers to our younger siblings. They enjoyed us. To further esteem ourselves to them on this particular occasion, we pretended we were psychiatrists or some other unspecified doctors of dubious renown. Among the therapies we practiced were:

• Threatening to rub sunbreeze under the subject's eyes to gauge his reaction.
  
• Mocking the subject's failure to read words correctly.
  
• Asking the subject how he would react in a given hypothetical situation and repeatedly dismissing each response explaining that his reaction would not work.
  
• Requiring the subject to spend time alone in a room talking to a ceramic eagle, telling it the subject's feelings and thoughts then bursting into the room and deriding the subject for talking to a ceramic eagle as though it could hear and understand.
  

You can see that we were on the path to total stardom and it is merely a twist of fate that neither Gordon, nor myself are employed in the mental health profession at this time.

Fortunately for the scientific community, we tape recorded the entire scheme. Parties interested in nominating me for the Nobel Peace Prize, please contact me for details.

One of the subjects we allowed to participate was my younger sister, Tiffany. She was probably 4 or 5 years old at the time. Perhaps 3. We permitted her to spend a great deal of time in a room with the ceramic eagle and she imparted to it more wisdom than can be crammed into a phone booth or multivitamin. Here is the actual recording:



Some of the knowledge she endowed us with that day:

• You're going to understand your life until it is wheat.
  
• And while I know it, I'm just going to enter from the enfrone side.
  
• I want you to take off the light and never turn it on. Just for a while. For my career, because... and that's a promise.
  
• You're gonna see what it is, or not it is.
  
• Gonna be is the style. Any kind of style, that's the style that's gonna break.
  
• I just listen to myself to be my other night... ware.
  
• You're NEVER gonna need me, but I'm never gonna need you. See, this is the whole "entertise" and I don't think that's right. But it is right.
  
• And while I know it, I'm just gonna talk thru the mico..ph..cone and it's gonna be the last ember.

This recording brings joy and understanding to all who will but listen, won't we?