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my head on that little tree in front there |
Comments left by La brought me to the realization that there are several stories from the past involving me that have somehow been twisted and unjustly contorted to sully/defame. I am here to set you all straight as to "what happened that day in the church with the organist and stuff." Let us begin...
Paul and I were at the church performing service to elderly widows what needed help taking their blood pressure, a chore we were both well acquainted with and fond of, to be sure.* During our lunch break (and surely we required one, for working 8 hours with the elderly, while intoxicating, is liable to sap one's strength and we wanted to be in top form for our service to these dears §) we heard the softly ringing strains of the organ in the chapel. We discreetly entered the chapel so as not to disturb the organist. To further reduce stress to the organist, we climbed underneath the pews so that our presence would go undetected. We lay there enjoying¤ the sounds of the organ when we decided we wanted to show our appreciation¹ to this hard working and talented person. That's when Paul discovered in his pocket the "burp-whistle" as it is called by nay-sayers. To us it was the "implement of gratitude demonstration"² and we used it generously and repeatedly from our discreet location. After several minutes of our appreciative display and none too few giggles of delight, (delight with the agreeable sounds of the organ)³ it was to our dismay that the organist announced "You think you're funny, but you're not!" We were astonished.¥ At that point we were left with no choice so, stoically, Paul responded "Yeh naaah!" as we scrambled out from our place under the pews and returned to the appreciative presence of the widows for whom we toiled so selflessly.°
*Not entirely based on fact.
§To the best of my recollection
¤It seems to me
¹This is 100% absolutely true. Trust me on this one.
²It's like a whoopee cushion only you blow on it and it makes a pleasing sound.
³I assure you.
¥ and rightfully so, I think you'll agree
°When have I ever lied to you?
I remember being teased for being so loving and helpful to the elderly and infirm. But we just kept on givin'.
ReplyDeleteLike Mr. Wilson, he of ex-FBI status and interrogationer extraordinaire. We helped wash his windows with some iceballs one day, I recall. Won't you spin that yarn, Jish?
Well this is certainly a different story then I heard. The way I heard it, you were sitting on a shed writing Depeche Mode lyrics on the roof. Weird!
ReplyDeleteSoap won't wash away the stain-shame.
ReplyDeleteI believe the implement was a duck call that I bought at Magic Wand. That place was awesome, cause you get both magic and pranks there. I purchased the following:
a fweeeeeeeeeeee whistle
Morning Breeze
hundreds of "Whoopee" brand cushions
card tricks
an actual magic wand
fake vomit
fake staining pen
coin tricks
Any you using stoic in a sentence.
ReplyDeleteOh, I just LOVED The Stoics. They are my FBE. (Favorite Band Ever)
ReplyDelete