The P (Part 1)

Thank you for calling Cineplex-Odeon/Plitt's Paramount Theater located at 61 East Center in Provo

My first job was in a theater in Provo called The Paramount. We affectionately referred to it as "The P." It was built as a playhouse and was later turned into a movie theater and so it had incredible character. It had a balcony, a stage, dressing rooms, catwalks, a basement, and trap doors. This building was fantastic. My duties included selling and taking tickets, selling concessions, cleaning, and preventing a grubby gypsy child from stealing candy. Paul worked there too, under the nom de plume "Bar." Though he wasn't an "official" employee that, say, "took home a paycheck," Paul worked for the sheer satisfaction of being inside the magnificent structure. And for free popcorn, admittance, and movie posters.

On Thursday nights it was often necessary to change the marquee after closing. We used a very wobbly ladder which was too short and required that another person be at the bottom to hold it steady and which also required the disregard for the strong warning encouraging users to "NEVER STAND ON THE TOP TWO RUNGS." Upstairs, beside the office, was a large room full of big plastic red letters. Most of them were useless having had their hooks broken off years before. Once while I was trying to come up with an ingenious way to spell "Empire of the Sun" (two times, one for each side of the marquee) with the abridged collection of available letters, I came upon a miniature letter-sign that said "IN COLOR" and I promptly incorporated it. The manager failed to see the humor and made me take it down.

I believe that The P truly imbued me with superhuman abilities. For instance, one time I had been talking to the ticket sales person and turned around to walk back to the concessions counter. The ticket salesman threw a broken crayon at my back and that very instant I turned around and in a split second I noticed the projectile coming toward me and grabbed it from the air.

Please, shed a tear with me now in remembrance of that noble structure which has since been torn down and turned into a parking lot.

Tune in next time for part 2 when Paul drinks straight from the soda fountain and I ingest a half pound of melted butter!